It's been that long huh...

Somehow my life seems to pass in leaps and bounds.  Quicker than anything I can grasp.  I go about the daily business of life and when I look up a week has passed- a month- a year. 

I have heard that the older you get the faster time flies.  Although this has been true in my life so far; I honestly can not imagine it getting any faster.  Sometimes I think, what will a year turn into a minute in my mind???

Crazy!

I have decided that if no one ever reads this I don't care.  I want to record my life for me and possibly my daughter some day. Maybe I am trying to grasp at slowing down my life.  Recording moments maybe will be a way of remember that moments did happen, not just years.

I have been busy with photo work, house preparations for Christmas, and tonight did a ton of Christmas shopping all online.  I enjoyed being able to get my gifts all in one spot, quickly and easily. But to be honest I did miss the whole heading out to shop thing.  The holiday music- the smells- the hustle and bustle.  My husband and I often went together.  Spying things in stores- oh this would be perfect for so and so... and oooo I want this!  Holding hands, eating a mall pretzel, sipping our smoothie, talking in the car ride on the way home.,

I enjoy seeing all the lights, breathing in the cold, fresh, snowy air that freezes your nostrils.  Watching your breath form puffs of clouds and smiling at people loaded down with bags.  Oh the holidays!

But this year I stayed in my warm cozy home, typing and clicking.  Wham, bam, done.  Well, almost.  I may just get in a small shopping trip yet. : )

 And just for fun my daughter's 11 month photos:

Ahh... I just want to squish her!

Words...

I consider myself fairly verbal.  I like to write.  I enjoy talking.  My mother always said I really enjoyed fighting because I liked to spar verbally.  My sister hated that and often would resort to biting me. Interesting....

My daughter loves to babble.  Da da da.  bob.  ma ma ma. ta ta ta. sa, sha, pah.  And so on and so forth.  It's great.  I love it.  She also growls loudly.  Her nana compared it to a really old, pack a day, smoker :)  HA!  And last, but not least she also snorts.  Not really talking per say, but she is getting her point across.  "I LOVE THAT AND WANT IT/WANT MORE"  *snort, snort, snort*

Journey says some babble very loudly.  VERY LOUDLY.  and some babble she whispers.  Kind of like she's trying out the sounds and isn't sure she wants to say them out loud yet. It is adorable.


Lately I have been attempting to pay close attention to her babble.  Is she actually saying something??  I have come to the conclusion that I think she is saying, "Hi, da da" with great excitement every time my husband comes in the door!  Awesome- her first words- Hi da da.  

I have also noticed that when she is upset she will say, "ma ma".  in a whiny, crying, sad voice.  "ma ma,  ma ma"  is she calling me?  I am not totally sure about this one, but my husband seems to think she is saying it.  If he's right, why do I get the whiny word and he gets the happy excited word?  He told me I should just be thankful she is saying my name at all.  

And I am- so I am happy and thankful and all that jazz!

Bedtime

A little back story would be welcome for this post.  Our daughter, while very young, started to have a hard time breathing.  I decided the best place for her to sleep elevated was on my chest in bed.  And so we slept.

Then my husband got a new job and had to move, but my daughter and I stayed behind at our house.  I decided it was silly for me to place my daughter in a crib at night when I had this huge queen bed all to myself.  I was also nursing- it's much easier and less tiring if you nurse without ever having to get out of bed.  And so the family bed began.

My husband is not much of a snuggle person- so I was in my glory.  A small person to hold and snuggle while I slept.  It was wonderful. 

We have now moved back in with my husband in our new home.  Our queen bed was not feeling so *large* as all three of us tried to sleep together.  Journey would rub *tickle* my husbands back at night and he did not like it.  My daughter loves to play with my hair when she falls asleep or my husband goatee.  One night he found her playing with his arm pit hair.... HA HA.  So he moved into the baby's room.  Anyone sense irony in this

My parents gave us the crib that I slept in, my 3 sibling slept in, and my nephew & 2 nieces slept in.  We had wanted to get Journey a new crib that would convert to a toddler bed and then a full size bed, but who could justify the cost when she was sleeping in our bed!


We kept wanting to try to put Journey to bed in there.  We would let her play there- but she just wouldn't sleep.  On Wednesday night we started a - Go to BED- plan.  The first two night were to establish a routine.  We nurse, we rock, read books, and sing. Then to bed in the crib we go.  Tonight is the- You are going to cry it out- night.  I think I may have some errand to run!

Ta da- a 10 month old!

So here she is. My sweet pumpkin.

Someday...

Someday I will write what happened during my pregnancy. I couldn't figure out how to sign into my blog and I was a tad to busy to update it.

So now over a year later I am back. I am not sure if anyone will ever read this blog, but I guess I am doing this for my own good. To read how I felt in the beginning and how I feel now.

It's odd really. I still am not sure I would ever become purposely pregnant again. Not that I would ever give up my child.

I had a girl. Her name is Journey. She is beautiful, funny, loving, caring, sweet, stubborn, determined, active, squishy, and just plain cute. She is a part of me and I am a part of her. We belong together.

There are many *things* I am doing. Things I never thought I would be okay with and yet I am. It must be this motherhood thing. I am missing out- not getting to go- and yet I don't really care. *well most days anyway* at least I am not bitter about it. Strange how a little person can change you.

It's for the better. I believe God chose this path for me. That Journey entering our lives was His plan and with His help I will see that plan through.

I wrote this on FB recently: "Tonight as I watch my daughter breath while she sleeps- I will ponder life's mysteries and realize that God has given me a gift. I just hope I will keep my end of the bargain and help her grow into the woman she is meant to be!"

"Doomsday"

While laying in bed one morning my husband rolls over and drops a bomb shell, I think you might be pregnant.

I scoff- What.... Why? (this is said with a lot of sarcasm) My thoughts start flying.

Well, your breast hurt- it's been a while since your last period. I have just been noticing a few things and well I wanted to let you know I think it's a possibility.

My head is now screaming. I am thinking- NO, NO, NO- this can't be possible it just can't.

Obviously I don't admit this to my husband. I calmly look him in the eyes and say I don't think so. You are wrong. I am just late and my period is coming that's why my body is acting this way and then I roll over.